Matt and I have been going through Let the Nations Be Glad by John Piper with a few couples from our church, and it, along with some other things going on in our lives, has really made an impact on my view of what the Bible says about missions and has really caused me to examine the depth of my love for Christ.
Sadly, I have realized that my love for Christ might not be as deep as I thought it was.
There is an A. W. Tozer quote that I heard a few months ago that has been haunting me in a profitable, challenging way. He states, "Christians don't tell lies, they just go to church and sing them". After I heard that quote I started to really pay attention to the words of songs I sang in church and songs I heard on the radio, and indeed I realized that I did not sincerely mean most of what I was singing.
Here are some examples of segments of songs that I've sang in church over the past couple months.
"Let me be in love with what You love
Let me be most satisfied in You
Forsaking what this world has offered me
I choose to be in love with You"
"Father let me dedicate all this life to Thee
In whatever worldly state Thou would have me be
Not from sorrow, pain or care, freedom dare I claim
This alone shall be my prayer, glorify Thy name"
"It's not about me, Jesus
And all this is for You,
For Your glory and Your faith,
It's not about me
As if You should do things my way,
You alone are God and I surrender"
"Jesus, Lord of my salvation, Savior of my soul.
Send me out to the world to make You known.
Jesus, King of every nation, this world’s only hope.
Send me out to the world to make you known.
Send me out to the world."
Of course if anyone would have asked me a few months ago if I believe and full-heartedly mean the things these songs are saying I would have blurted out a quick, "YES!" and really thought I meant it. However, God has been teaching me through His Word, my husband, and others that I might not be as sincere as I think I would be. I have come to realized that as long as my life is going good, and I have all the "things" that give me security, it is pretty easy to praise God and call Him good. But, what if God called me to give up all the things I call securities like: living in America, living close to family, living in a beautiful house, having Matt's dependable and reliable salary that allows me the luxury of buying new clothes :) and on and on and on and on.........to go proclaim the Gospel to people that have never heard of Christ in parts of the world that are really undesirable to live in. Would I react like the rich young man in Matthew 19 that was sad at Jesus' command to give up all earthly possessions, or would I joyfully see giving up my ideal life for the sake of the Gospel as an act of truly showing Christ how much He means to me? I know I would struggle with doing this fully out of joy and love for Christ's name to be known among all people groups in the world. I know I would struggle and be sad about the things I was leaving behind and even struggle with legalism that I have to do this to be a true follower of Christ.
Honestly, that is exactly where I find my heart at this very moment in time. I realize that my view of God and His Word is weaker in belief than I thought. The Spirit has really humbled me lately and has exposed to me the sick idolatry of my love and craving for ease in my life at the expense of Christ. He has shown me more why I need my Savior.
I just finished the second to last lesson in "Let the Nations Be Glad," and it was on Suffering, The Cost of Missions. One of the key verses that stuck out to me was 2 Timothy 3:12, "Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." Does that verse mean that there is a chance I might be persecuted and share in Christ's suffering someday? No, it doesn't. In fact, it means quite the opposite, and that is a compact truth to face. "All" means everyone and "will" means it will happen. That truth has really pushed me to examine my heart in regards to believing Christ is my everything, because if He is not there is no way that I would put myself in persecutions way.
1 Peter 4:12-13 says, "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed."
That verse isn't talking about trials like having a bad day or struggling with a trial as a result of sin in our lives, but it is specifically talking about the trials of persecution and suffering for Christ's name. John Piper puts it good in his book, Let the Nations Be Glad when he says, "The domestication of cross-bearing into coughs and cranky spouses takes the radical thrust out of Christ's call." It's a common thing, especially in the American church, to confuse hard circumstances in life as suffering for Christ. There is a difference there, and a difference that is too easily mixed together. Could that be because many of us have never experienced true persecution, so when our spouse gets upset with us or our car breaks down we associate that discomfort in life with the trials that 1 Peter 4:12 is talking about?
Matt and I have a friend that can sincerely pray for suffering to come to his life, because he authentically believes that sharing in Christ's sufferings will bring him joy and a closer walk with Christ. His maturity in Christ to be able to pray that prayer has been a huge example to Matt and me. Right now I find myself really struggling to be able to pray that prayer and mean it, so I'm going to pray that God would give me the desire to want to be able to pray that prayer. I know it's a weak prayer, but I also know God will hear me and not just hear me but grow me.
If anyone is looking for a Bible study to do I would highly recommend this one!
