Since it has been a month since we have posted anything on our blog people think either there hasn't been much going on in our lives lately, or that we've been extremely busy doing something! Well, the latter is the truth.
We became foster parents!
Here's a little history: Ever since we have been married we have both had hearts to adopt, but over the past 2 years of our marriage we both have not come to a unified conclusion on when to adopt. Last winter we started to talk about other ways we could reach out to children in need other than through adoption, and of course, foster care stood out to the both of us. We started researching it and found out that our local social worker goes to our church. We got in touch with her and after waiting a few months to start the classes we began the process!
On a side note: We thank God soooo much for our social worker! She has been such a testimony to us of using her gifts and work to glorify God. The foster system can be sticky and frustrating, but having someone lead us that is doing it for an eternal perspective has given us so much encouragement and joy in the process.
When we started the process of foster care we both had the mid-set that we were going to get this adorable little baby that was going to fit right into our family and stage of life. How perfect that picture was to us--one child that was a baby. After all, we had been trying to have a natural baby for a year and a half, so this just had to be God's way for us to finally get a baby.....right? =)
As I think back on my expectations (which involved more than just the "baby idea") they make me smile and feel disgusted at the same time. I had this perfect picture of fostering that made me feel so godly and righteous. Thankfully, God had another idea and plan for us in fostering that He has used to break me of the pathetic expectations and rosy view.
A month ago God brought into our home not 1 child.....not 2 children......but 3 children. We had talked a lot about accepting 2 kids instead of 1, but we for sure were not entertaining the thought of taking in 3 children. Well, a few hours before our social worker called us about our kids, Duane (who had been gone all summer at Bible school) stopped into Matt's work to see him and talk to him. He told Matt about a very godly woman that has adopted many children (I'm talking over 10) from very hard circumstances and moved to Haiti to take care of even more orphans and neglected/abused children. After hearing about this woman God moved Matt's heart about fostering to want to take on a bigger challenge and to do something that really didn't make sense to him or me or to the world. That is when he got the phone call from our social worker that there were 3 little siblings that needed a placement that night. Matt called me at work and told me about his heart change and these 3 kids. I didn't have time to process the idea much or think about it because I was busy at work. I told him that I trusted him to make the decision, and that if he felt that we should move forward and take these kids then I was board.
Around 10:30 that night 3 little, scared children were dropped off at our home. K is 5, P is 3, and J is 2. The older two are girls and the little one is a boy. For being here for only a month I feel that they are adjusting really well. The younger two don't seem to have as many scars from the past as the oldest girl. That is to be expected due to the fact that K has experienced more pain and can remember the pain and hard times more clearly. She has really taken a liking to Matt which makes us really happy because she has never had a stable, consistent father figure in her life. It is one of the biggest blessings to see her giggle and get excited when Matt gives her attention and pure love.
What's it like going from being newly weds with no kids to full time parents with 3 kids overnight? Let me just say it has been an adjustment.
*I was so used to having so much more of Matt's attention and being able to spend more quality time with him. I struggle with the time that I have lost with him, but the special, sacred times that we do have now, I enjoy in a more full, special way.
*My sleeping in days are few to none now. That was a luxury I had having no kids, but thankfully it is easier for me to get up early now knowing there are 3 kids in need of me.
*We can not stay out as late as we usually did. Especially having a little one in kindergarten. Our social lives have naturally been revamped since having these kids. No more spur of the moment travel plans (well, maybe some still :> ), but being home is much more entertaining these days!
*God has brought up and exposed sins in Matt and my life that need to be dealt with by the grace of God and gutted from out lives. Just yesterday I grieved all day because I had really lashed out at J. I was talking to Matt about it last night and he told me something that really gave me a fresh look on my sin. He told me to be thankful that God has given us these kids, because He is using them to show us our true hearts and sanctify us. The sin that has been coming out of my heart since having these kids are not new sins. They are sins that have been in my heart from the beginning. God is using these kids to show me these sinful areas in my heart, so that God can clean me out to become more Christ-like. Before these kids I think I was feeling like a pretty good Christ follower, so God has reminded me through these kids that I am so wrecked and sinful and in need of Him! Sometimes, sadly but truthfully, I just want to send these kids away so I do not have to deal with my heart-issues and can stuff them back inside to deal with at a later date........how non Christ-like is that? God give me grace to deal with my sin.
1 John 3:17 But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?
That verse is deep and cuts right into our culture. It has convicted me in the way I live and love others. It has prompted me to purely love these 3 kids. God teach me to SEE more clearly other's needs and LOVE them like YOU HAVE LOVED ME! Seeing is not truly seeing without an action of love following it.
